Up at oh dark thirty

Tomorrow morning I'm going to be meeting a friend at the gym at oh dark thirty. When is that? The time when crazy people go to work out at the gym. That's me! We meet between 4:30 and 5 AM to get in a workout before starting our days. We don't necessarily work out together, but we wave at each other, say good morning and, most importantly, just hold each other accountable. I have found that it's what I need ... to make a commitment and follow through on it. Sometimes that's the hardest thing to do in life, that good ole keeping promises thing.

My life has been so busy and it's so easy to make bad choices. However, I'm purposely taking care of myself and doing what I can to be abstinent. Sometimes that means staying away from sticky situations or people, but it's what I need to do for me. For so much of my life, it's been about other people but no one is going to take care of me except for me. That's what makes me get up in the morning and go for that workout. And I have to say that it's a complete high that I love. I put in my headset to my mp3 and just go for it. Sweat is pouring off my body in no time flat and I know that I am doing great things not only for my physical body, but emotionally and spiritually as well.

These things take great courage for a compulsive overeater, who hides behind that food like the Berlin wall. But just as that wall came tumbling down, so does mine. I mean, it takes great courage for me to step out of the shadows and into the light. The shadows seem safer because it's what I have been used to my whole life, but the light is a beautiful place to be. I can still be scared, but I do not have to live in fear. Tomorrow morning, I will walk into the light again, taking care of my body and being present in this world. Just the way God intends for me to be.