Icky, but I really want this

So, yesterday was not the best day for me. I felt lonely, sorry to say. I think I was isolating a little bit. It was such a beautiful day, but I didn't go out all day long leading to those feelings of isolating. I was doing some work on a huge event I have coming up and I did have some time to go out but I didn't do it. As a result of being boarded up all day, it brought on some icky feelings about not being in a relationship. I was watching stupid movies on TV that made me cry and I just felt a-l-o-n-e. The negative self-talk started. However, I did catch myself and I went to my previous assignment, the one in which I wrote out all the cruel things I say to myself and the positive counter to each thing. Thank you, God, that I did that because it immediately helped pull me out. The truth is that God will put that person in my life when I am ready for him. Right now, I don't think I am. I mean, I am ready, but not in the bigger, global sense. I desire to have that relationship in my life, but I still have some more recovering to do and some more loving myself stuff to do before I can be truly ready for all that this man, whomever he is, has to give to me and vice versa. I don't want to hurt anyone, including myself. It's just not fair. I still acknowledge that I feel lonely, but I am never alone and I am so glad I had the foresight to go to my assignment to help me remember that.