Power of positive thinking a little difficult this morning

I woke up pretty early this morning, which was a good thing for me. I tend to rush around in the morning with not enough time. But, I have to admit that I'm sort of being Miss Negative. That's why I'm here and writing about it. Of all the tools of the program - sponsorship, plan of eating, literature, telephone, anonymity, service, meetings, writing - it is probably writing that I enjoy the most even though I don't always enjoy the process. Everything comes out when I do it. So, I woke up and just felt as big as a house. I looked in the mirror and just didn't like what I saw looking back at me. I had to mentally counter it with blessings so that I wouldn't get down on myself. It's so hard when the shitty committee gets going. That, and I woke up thinking about food. Actually, this is kind of funny ... there's a commercial from a fast food joint, either Jack in the Box or Carl's Jr., that talks about mini sirloin burgers. The characters are singing about these things to the tune of, "Yippee kayeah, mini sirloin burgers..." Now I can't get it out of my head. No, I don't want mini sirloin burgers this morning, but how torturous it is to have it repeating over and over inside.

I did read from "For Today" and I got the message that I can resign from the debating society. For me, that means that God is sufficient. His love is sufficient and it is all I need. Can I trust in Him, no matter what, even on those mornings where I am feeling as big as a house? I know I'm not. It's just a feeling and I know I can turn that over. I did pray this morning and that's what I did. I mentally had this image in my head of plucking that feeling out of my body and physically handing it over to God. How it is taken care of is not up to me. What is up to me, however, is to stand up from here, take a shower and get ready to face this beautiful day ahead of me with as much positive energy as possible. I have a lot to do, but it is one thing at a time. There's no need to get myself into a panic about my workload, just to do the best I can with one thing at a time. Perhaps realizing I'm just a mere human being would be the order of the day.